GAMES GIRLS PLAY

 EPISODE FOUR

JONATHAN’S POV

Sometimes I really wonder whether Charline loves me or even cares about me. When our relationship had just started we had disagreements on some occasions. One time was when I walked with her from our campus to Cream restaurant which is like 500m away. We were chatting and she was looking gloomy. I asked her why she was like so and her response was not all that convincing because she was in deep thoughts. I insisted that she tells me what the problem could be but without a clear response. Given the small knowledge I have on ladies’ moods, I decided to give it a break for I knew that later I would ask her and she tells me what was bothering her.

Our conversation changed to a different one to avoid further ugly responses. I asked her opinion of her about talking about her past relationship. She quickly told me about her boyfriend who was always controlling her. I further asked what she actually meant by him controlling or what exactly he did that showed that he was controlling. Her response was that she was never allowed to be with her friends and I quickly told her that it was absurd that such happened. She told me that all men are like that and she is never interested in dating anyone. At this point I knew that my assumptions of me and her being in a relationship were wrong but as a thinker I quickly asked her if she had dated all the men in the world. Seemingly angry, she answered with a no which I told her that it was unfair to judge all men by her one boyfriend. She still seemed not mentally present and this is when I asked what actually her problem was again. She insisted that she had no problem and instead walked away. I felt so small and embarrassed that she walked away from me. Thank God it was a night that no one seemed to have seen me in my embarrassment. I stayed on the spot for like an hour and then gathered my courage and walked  to my hostel.

The next day at around 10:00hrs I saw a whatsApp message from her asking how I was doing. I replied with just “okay.”

“Don’t be rude to me like that,” she replied my text message.

Me: How do you mean that I am rude?

Her: How can you just respond with just the word okay?

Me: So, you mean that is rude?

Her: You must be the only person that does not know that.

Me: Oh I see

Her: You see what?

Me: Your lecture madam teacher

Her: When you keep acting like that you will push me away please

Me: Acting how?

Her: Asking me a lot of question

Me: Like what?

Her: Insisting that I tell you what was happening to me yesterday

Me: So, that’s why you walked away from me?

Her: Yes, I told you I don’t care about anyone. So, I don’t expect you to care about me.

Me: You are weird, which kind of a woman hates being cared about? I am sorry for caring about you.

Her: I hate being controlled

Me: It’s my fault I cared about you. I am sorry

Her: Okay

Because I was smitten with her, I never cared to think through all these words but looked forward to meeting her again. In the evening after lectures, I texted her and asked if I could visit her at her hostel. She asked me not to go because she had somewhere to go and would be home late. Guys, I was in love with the fact that she was giving me attention and acting classy. All I focused on was the fact that I was in contact with a girl I admired. I never gave attention to any of these red flags.

The next day I texted her and asked if I could meet her at her hostel which she agreed. After my paralegal work in town, I passed by Mega supermarket to buy her yoghurt because it is her favorite. Damn it’s far to carry a can of yoghurt from Kampala to Mukono. During the journey Asiimwe was laughing at my foolish action. “Is there no yoghurt in Mukono?” he kept asking me. It was funny we reached Mukono town at 22:00hrs in the night and the whole yoghurt had melted into liquid I headed straight to her hostel. Asiimwe said that he had never seen a foolish lover in his entire life like me because I continued up to her hostel to fulfill my appointment to her. I was really in love with the angel Charline and I could not resist her even if it meant working as her servant, I would gladly do the work so long as it kept me close to her.

Another occasion was when we had actually become close and this time we were convincingly dating. I was lying in bed with her and I noticed that she had a contact saved as “My Love” and I cared to try to find out whose number it was. I convinced myself that it was my contact and I pulled her closer to me and I hugged her more tightly because I felt she loved me. In my mind I felt that she had finally accepted to be loved by me. This time she was frequenting my place and I was actually happy that finally Charline was mine.

One day, she comes with a decision that I should give her some space because she felt we had rushed things. She also decided that we should always meet once in a week because we were spending a lot of money on transport and her conscious was not allowing her. She felt that she was betraying her parents. So, she would not be coming to my hostel unless it’s a given week day. I told her that it would not be possible for us to meet unless it would be a weekend. She was like a weekend would be a time for her to spend with her family.

I felt betrayed because the relationship was for the two of us. Why would she decide without involving me in the process? How did she even come to this conclusion? I used to call her my woman and my friends had started calling her; in law and my fiancé. She asked me to stop calling her ‘my woman’ and she felt bad whenever my friends refered to her as my fiancé. I could not believe my ears and actually shed tears for I felt betrayed. I bought a bottle of beer to take away my thoughts but instead it increased them.

After a few days she came to my hostel and found me lying in bed, I was very fatigued and famished. Good enough she had carried some food with her and I could not allow her put it down. I grabbed it and started eating immediately and told her “thank you my woman.” At this point she quickly reminded me of how she had stopped me from calling her ‘my woman.’ I asked her how long that would take and why actually she had come that day; it was actually a Wednesday. She responded that she had come to see me like her plan had been, which I opposed by asking her if she had not thought of the fact that I would not always be available on weekdays. She never responded and instead told me to take my meal and stop asking questions.

“So, why did you ask to time alone?” I asked her and her response was that she wanted to process the whole relationship thing. I told her that she was my woman and I would not want to reverse anything. I added that I was not happy that she had decided everything about our relationship without discussing anything with me. She ignored my concerns and instead out rightly told me that I should stop referring to her as my woman and that no one qualified to even call her that. I asked her if she had some special people in her life and she told me that she did not have and no one had a special name in her phone except the brother. I asked if the brother’s name had been saved as ‘my love’ in her phone. She sarcastically laughed and told me that she had never saved anyone like that in her phone. I insisted that I had seen it saved in her phone. She got so angry and started packing her things to leave my house. I begged her to stop which she did not accept. I cried feeling empty inside me and she told me that she felt nothing actually she said that she felt numb. All my being was shattered and I felt finished. She left and kept calling her to come back home but in vain.

At this point I felt that may be it was not my number she had saved as ‘my love’ and actually had another lover. Even if I cried but this time I got a solution of going for adoration. I went to Church the next Sunday and spend two hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament crying out my emptiness until I felt strong enough to let her go. The relief I felt that day was so enormous, I went for mass and prayed while feeling relieved. I am now ready to loose anyone that does not want to be with me. My love is only given if only one would reciprocate it.

So, when Brenda told me about Charline being in love with James, I did not feel much pain because I have had enough already. I decided to call Asiimwe to arrange to freedom day because at this point I knew that Charline would not be a big bother to me again. Unfortunately, I could not locate my phone. It’s at this point it dawned on me that Brenda had spent a night with me and most probably she went with my phone. I had to go to her place to pick it and call Asiimwe because I needed him urgently.